Learning Support Team
Parent Information – children and young people who are worried about returning to school
A certain degree of worry and fear about returning to school, especially following this time away from face-to-face teaching and in the current pandemic, is normal for children and young people. We are currently in uncertain times. However, most students find that these worrying feelings decrease over time once back at school and following the school routine. It will be most helpful for children and young people to return to school at the same time as their peers and as outlined by their school.
For children and young people who have experienced anxiety symptoms, returning to school may feel scary. For those who experience excessive anxiety (approximately 1 in 14 children and young people) they may feel more anxious than peers of similar age; consistent and intense anxiety which persists after a stressful event has passed, and the distress interferes with a child or young person’s ability to do every day things. If you are concerned that your child or young person’s fears and worries are becoming problematic, here are some common presentations to look out for:
What to look for |
You may notice your child |
| seek reassurance often | clings to you |
| avoid situations they feel worried or scared about | asks for help with things they can do for themselves |
| try to get others to do the things they are worried about | doesn’t want to get ready for school |
| tell you they have physical pains | won’t go to sleep without a parent or other adult |
| dislike taking risks or trying new things | asks, “will you do it for me?” or “will you tell them for me?” a lot |
| have lots of fears | often complains of stomach pains or headaches |
| get upset easily | worries a lot about doing things right |
| have lots of worries | prefers to watch others rather than have a go |
| is scared of the dark, dogs, injections, being alone, germs, tests | |
| often cries over small things | |
| complains about being picked on a lot | |
| always sees the dangerous or negative side of things | |
Parents can help their child or young person who feels worried about returning to school by:
- Helping your child or young person to identify their emotions
- Talking about returning to school and helping them prepare for the transition
- Developing a calm morning routine (organise and pack the night before) for predictability and reducing anxiety
- Developing and following a goodbye routine (for children)
- Encouraging them to meet up with friends before going into school (for young people)
- Building confidence in them “I know it feels hard, but you can do it”
- Reassuring them that feeling anxious to new situations is normal and they can do things to help manage these feelings such as consistent sleep and wake times, mindful breathing, relaxation techniques, meditation, exercise, positive self-talk, talking to friend
- Helping them understand that delaying the return to school is likely to make things harder in the future
- Helping them develop coping statements to use at school: “As the day goes on, I will feel less worried”
- Contacting the school and/or GP if your child or young person’s anxious feelings persist and remain consistently intense.
What to do if your child or young person is having persistent difficulty with returning to school
School avoidance occurs in about one to two percent of school children and young people. Those who experience excessive anxiety resulting in refusal to attend school often complain of headache, stomach-ache or other physical illness. This can include difficulty leaving home for school, getting to school or avoiding going to school altogether
School avoidance causes much distress to the child, young person and their family. It can also interfere with social and educational development. The more time away from school, the more difficult it is for them to return to school life.
School avoidance is different from truancy in that the child or young person is staying at home with the knowledge of the family and despite their best efforts to enforce attendance.
School avoidance can be a result of many factors. The child or young person may be having learning difficulties, difficulties with peers, or struggling with anxiety or depression. It is important that the underlying causes are identified, and the return to school plan is tailored to individual circumstances.
If your child or young person is struggling to attend school or if you have any concerns related to their wellbeing, please contact the school. For further information, please refer to:
Parents of children: Raising Children Network (https://raisingchildren.net.au/)
Parents of Young People – Reachout Parents (https://parents.au.reachout.com/)
Useful Apps
- Smiling Mind (all ages)
- Breathe (all ages)
- WorryTime (adolescents)